Idioms-part four

I’m roasting

دارم میپزم

In the south parts of Iran you will be roasted if you go out while the noon!

I am boiling

دارم می پزم(اثر گرمای هوا)

Could you please give me a cup of iced tea?!Im boiling now!

In the dog house

کم محلی کردن

Because I forgot my wife's birthday, I have been in the doghouse for the past two weeks!!

It’s a feeble excuse

عذر بد تر از گناه

It was only a feeble excuse when I told him I broke the window because SAKHA said!

It is all for the best

الخیر فی ما وقع...

Don’t worry, its all for the best.

It’s Greek to me

سر در آوردنی نیست!

English is always Greek to me!

I wish you joy it

خیرش را ببینی!

I wish you joy it.

I will do without it

از خیرش گذشتم

I will do without it

It is not as if the sky is falling

انگار آسمان به زمین آمده!!؟

It is not as if the sky is falling

I would not have it as a gift!

به مفتش هم نمی ارزد

I would not have it as a gift!

It’s nothing with you!!

به تو ربطی ندارد- با تو ارتباطی ندارد!

It’s nothing with you!!

Jump the gun

عجله کردن

They were scheduled to be married in June, but they jumped the gun

Jump down some ones throat

به کسی پریدن – به کسی عصبانی شدن

Why do you jump down my throat before you listen to what I have to say?

Keep your shirt on!

بابا یه دقیقه صبر کن!

Keep your shirt on! You're next in line

Kick the bucket

غزل خدا حافظی را خواندن

Kick the bucket I will kill you in 5 minutes!

Kick up ones heels

خوش گذراندن

I like to go to their party and really kick up my heels!

Killing two birds with one stone

با یک تیر دو نشان زدن

When we can Kill two birds with one stone why don’t we do that?!

Know by heart

از بَر بودن

Don’t worry I know all the books by heart.

Keep some body on tented hooks

کسی را پا در هوا نگه داشتن!

Its 25 minutes that SAKHA is late. actualy he likes to keep every one on tended hooks!!

Keep something under ones hat

راز داری کردن

Try to keep what I said under your hat!

Knock one on the head

مشت بر سر کسی کوفتن

Try not to knock me on the head I wont accept it!!

Keep ones finger crossed

برای کسی آرزوی موفقیت کردن

I'm gonna take a big test tomorrow Sam.

 I'll keep my fingers crossed for you dear.

Know ledge is power

دانش قدرت است

Know ledge is power

Knock some ones socks off

هیجان زده شدن!

If you see John's new car, It'll knock your socks off!

Knock on wood!

بزنم به تخته!

When SAKHA s uncle said, oh…you are growing very fast his mom shouted: knock on the wood!

Know by ropes

فوت و فن کاری را بلد بودن

Let Granny do the job. She knows the ropes well.

Keep ones ear to the ground

گوش به زنگ بودن

You'll have to keep your ears to the ground if you wanna know what's gonna happen next!

Like a bull in a china shop

دست و پا چلفتی بودن

When SAKHA interred his first class in ILI he was like a bull in a china shop!

Lose ones shirt

آس و پاس شدن – دار و ندار را باختن

I lost my shirt when I heard that my house is completely stolen!

Left face

به چپ چپ!(از الفاظ پادگانی-نظامی)

All the soldiers obey the orders, Left face

Little makes micelle many

قطره قطره جمع گردد وانگهی دریا شود

When SAKHA wasn’t collecting all his money, his father told him: little makes micelle many!

Level with the ground

با خاک یکسان کردن

In the first &second world war some countries were leveled with the ground.

Level with some one

با کسی رو راست بودن

Come on, SAKHA! I want you to level with me. Did you do it?

Live in a small way

با قناعت زندگی کردن

In this situation we have to live in a small way.

Love makes all hearts gentle

از محبّت خار ها گل می شوند...

Love makes all hearts gentle

Live up to one’s principles

موافق مرام خود زیستن

Every one is able to live up to his or her principles.

Live out the night

شب را صبح کردن

SAKHA couldn’t live out the night well, the night before the Konkoor!

Leave some one high and dry

کسی را قال گذاشتن

She promised to help me with the dishes after the party, but she left me high and dry!

Live on

به زندگی ادامه دادن

In every situation we have to live on!

Leave no stone unturned

به هر دری زدن

SAKHA leaved no stone unturned but he couldn’t open the locked door!

Look down

حقیر شمردن

Try not to look SAKHA down!

Lead a dog s life

با فلاکت زیستن

I m going to get rich real soon. I'm quite tired of leading a dog's life!!

Look one up and down

برانداز کردن

We have to look the car up & down when we decide to buy it.

Like a fish out of water

کاملا با محیط نا مانوس بودن

For the first few days in New York, I was like a fish out of water!

Like the back off ones hand

مثل کف دست!

I know the city like the back of my hand

Let bygones be bygones

گذشته ها گذشته

When SAKHA saw his old friend cried: Let bygones be bygones speak about yourself !

Lemon

دچار درد سر شدن

She got a real lemon by her new car

Let ones hair down

خودمانی شدن

Let your hair down and tell me what’s on your mind. I might be able to do something to help you.

Let sleeping dogs lie

پا رو دم سگ نگذاشتن – دنبال دردسر نگشتن

Don’t raise the issue again. It's almost forgotten. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Look daggers at some one

چشم غره کرن

Why are you looking daggers at me? Have I done anything wrong?

Long live

زنده باد!

The president was speaking and all the people were shouting Long live!

Live on

به زندگی ادامه دادن

Try to forget your death mom and live on!

Let alone

به حال خود وا گذاردن

Lets let alone the baby who is crying.

Look down

حقیر شمردن

Never try to look the poor people down

Some times the world changes the roles!

Lay ones cards on the table

رو راست بودن.

Come on, lay your cards on the table. Tell me what you really think.

Lay an egg

خیط شن – خراب شدن

I hope I won't lay an egg when it's my turn to sing

Look one up and down

برانداز کردن

To test the car look it up & down.

Let’s wet our whistles

بیا گلویی تازه کنیم

When I interred the house mom said: Let’s wet our whistles

Lie low

آفتابی شدن

The thief isn’t ling low these days!

Love conquers all

اظهار عشق را به زبان احتیاج نیست

چندان که شد نگه به نگه آشنا بس است

When he saw his girl friend he wanted to say something but she said: Love conquers all!

Laugh and the world laughs with you

شکفته باش جهان را شکفته گر خواهی

که بر گشاده دلان چرخ روی خندان است

Laugh and the world laughs with you

Let ones hair down

خودمانی شدن

When SAKHA saw his uncle after eleven years , after a couple of time he heard: let your hair down dear. 

Make ends meet

دخل و خرج را جور کردن

Things are so expensive nowadays that it's very difficult to make ends meet!

Much coin –much care

هر که بامش بیش برفش بیشتر

Much coin –much care why do you complain?!

My cake is dough

دستم نمک ندارد...

My cake is dough

Leg man

پادو

I cant tell him to be a leg man for you!

More catholic than the pope

کاسه ی داغ تر از آش بودن

His uncle tries to be More catholic than the pope!

Make no bones about some thing

رک و راست بودن – صاف و پوست کنده بودن

Linda made no bones about telling John how much she hated him.

Make a mountain out of a mole hill

از کاهی کوه ساختن

Don't let such a trivial thing bother you so much. You're just making a mountain out of a molehill!

Money business

دوز و کلک-مسخره بازی

Stop the monkey business! This is serious

Mind ones P s and Q s

مواظب زبان و رفتار خود بودن

You must mind your p's and q's at the reception tonight.

Make a scene

داد و بیداد راه انداختن

Hey, look! There is a fly in my tea. I'm gonna tear the restaurant down

Come on, don't make a scene. Just forgot about it

Make yourself at home

این جا را مثل خانه ی خودتان بدانید

Make yourself at home

My leg has gone to sleep

پایم خواب رفته است

My leg has gone to sleep

Make a push

از جان مایه گذاشتن

SAKHA really made a push when he studied for Konkoor.

Make ones mouth water

از بوی غذا به هوس افتادن

Whenever I inter the restaurant my mouth makes water!

Make waves

درد سر درست کردن – شربه پا کردن!

SAKHA doesn't get along well with others at work. He's always trying to make waves!

Money no object

پولش مهم نیست!

In this business money is no object!

Make a splash

کولاک کردن – غوغا کردن – معرکه بودن

She made quite a splash in literary circles with her first book.

Monkey business

حقه بازی کردن – دوز و کلک زدن

I have always avoided monkey businesses.

Miss the boat

دیر جنبیدن

There were still some tickets available last week. You could have bought one, but you missed the boat

Make a dust

الم شنگه به پا کرن!

Never try to make a dust from this small accident.

Make hay while the sun shines

شانس یک باردر خانه ی آدم را می زند!

If you don’t make the hay while the sun shines, you will lose the opportunities.

Make up some stores

داستان سر هم کردن!

You are trying to make up some stories & you think I don’t know!

Mom’s word

از من نشنیده بگیر!

It’s a moms word!

No pain no gain

نا برده رنج گنج میسر نمی شود

No pain no gain

Not worth a cent

یک پا پاسی هم ارزش نداشت

This website doesn’t worth a sent!!!!

near the bottom the best fish swims

هر که طاووس خواهد – جور هندستان کشد

near the bottom the best fish swims

No waiting

توقف ممنوع

Why don’t you pay attention to the no waiting marks?!

Not turn a hair

خم به ابرو نیاوردن!

I didn’t turn a hair when I was stopped by the police!

Narrow escape…

خطر از بیخ گوشش گذشت

It was a narrow escape when I could run from that rape & arson town!

No news is best news

بی خبری خوش خبری است!

No news is best news

Not to have a leg to stand on

پا در هوا حرف زدن

SAKHA always sais something & then forget it I mean he doesn’t have a leg to stand on!!

No bugling

چانه نزنید!

Haven’t you seen the no bugling marks at the iterance?!

Not hold water

غیر منطقی بودن

Nothing you've said so far holds water.

Nothing is as grand as forgiveness

در عفو لذتی است که در انتقام نیست!؟

Nothing is as grand as forgiveness.

not have a leg to stand on

دلیل کافی برای اثبات خود نداشتن

In order to prove his innocence, the thief didn't have a leg to stand on.

Not sleep a wink

چشم رو هم ننهادن(نخوابیدن)

SAKHA couldn’t sleep a wink last night.

On easy street

در ناز و نعمت بودن

Everyone has problems, even people who live on easy street.

Once bitten twice shy

مار گزیده از ریسمان سیاه و سفید می ترسد!

Once bitten twice shy

Oil some ones palm

سبیل کسی را چرب کردن

Try not to oil my palm, I won't work for you!

Over my dead body

تا صد سال سیاه!

Over my dead body, you won't see me lost the game!

Out of the woods

از خطر جستن (فرار کردن)

The doctor believes that the patient is out of the woods!

Out of mind-out of sight

از دل برود هر آن چه از دیده برفت...

Out of mind-out of sight

Out on a limb

در موقعیت خطر بودن

You are placing yourselves out on a limb by saying those words to your chief.

One after another

یکی پس از دیگری

The soldiers were being killed one after an other.

Out of the blue

مثل اجل معلق!

As soon as the burglar stepped out of the house, a cop appeared out of the blue and busted him!

Out you go

بزن به چاک

Hurry up! out you go if not…!!

Ones number is up

اجل کسی رسیدن

Granny is worried all the time. She thinks her number is up!

Off the hook

به داد کسی رسیدن – کسی را از هچل در آوردن!

It's his own fault for getting himself into this situation, but we'll have to think of a way to get him off the hook

Play ball with some one

دست به دست کسی دادن – با کسی همکاری کردن

Look, pal! If you play ball with me, we'll be able to do almost anything together.

Play gooseberry

مو دماغ بودن

I guess you two wanna be left alone; I'm not gonna play gooseberry

Put ones foot in it

نسنجیده لب به سخن گشودن

I really put my foot in it by telling my brother's secret at the party last night

Pain in the neck

مایه درد سر

Jack is always pain in the neck , he broke all the glasses in the party yester day!

Put the cart before the horse

کارهاراوارونه انجام دادن– سرنا را ازسرگشادزدن!

Hey, tom! Why are you eating you dessert first? You're putting the cart before the horse!

Idioms-part six

To influence by an evil eye

چشم زدن

I wont be influenced by your evil eye.

Take no pain

زحمت نکش

Take no pain , everything will be done by her!

The last straw

کاسه ی صبر کسی لبریز شدن

She's always been rude to me, but it was the last straw when she started insulting my mother!

To save one’s hide

جان سالم به در بردن

Nowadays its so hard to save your hide in businesses!

To bring someone to his senses

حال کسی را جا آوردن

The old man is being brought to his sense by the new joker!!

To play a trick on some one

حقه زدن

Playing a trick on him wont be possible.

To find out

ملتفت شدن

Did you find out what the teacher said?!

Take a person at his word

اعتماد به قول کسی

I take you at your word & give you the key!

Take freedoms with a person

با کسی زیاد خودمانی رفتار کردن

Try not to take freedoms with him , he is not so polite.

To disgraced someone

بی آبرو کردن!

Sam disgraced his uncle when he opened his mouth!

To be all abroad

تو باغ نبودن!

SAKHA, are you all abroad?!

What was my last sentence?!

To be all ears

سراپا گوش بودن

No dear teacher im all ears!

To be all eyes

چهار چشمی پاییدن

Im all eyes to see what his next action will be?

There is money in it

پول توش هست؟!

Is there enough money in this business?!

To be incautious

بی احتیاطی کردن

To insult some one

بی احترامی کردن

SAKHA never try s to insult any body even his enemies!

To act rudely

بی ادبی کردن

Acting rudely in front of him wont help you do no thing!

Turn ones stomach

حال کسی را بهم زدن

The party was so bad that it turned my stomach.

To set moving

به جنبش درآوردن

Lets set the group moving.

To kick up a row

جنجال راه انداختن

Its his habit to kick up a row in any discussion!

To pride one self

مفاخرت کردن

My dad prides him self because of me.

To carry in the arms

بغل کردن

When I saw him I carry him in the arms.

To skin a flint

از آب کره گرفتن

The ability to skin a flint is sometimes so useful.

There wasn’t a soul to be seen

پرنده پر نمی زنه!

There wasn’t a soul to be seen

To rope peter to pay Paul

کلاه علی را سر ولی گذاشتن

To rope peter to pay Paul

To give a curt negative reply

آب پاکی را رو دست کسی ریختن

When SAKHA wanted the new car from daddy he cried: No & gave a curt negative reply!!

To be treated others as you would like

بر کس مپسند انچه ترا نیست پسند

You have to treat others as you like!

They will never go in double harness

آبشان در یک جوب نمی رود

They cant go on together , they will never go in double harness!

Two heads are better than one

دو تا فکر بهتر از یک فکر است!!

Two heads are better than one

The shoemaker’s son always goes barefoot

کوزه گر از کوزه ی شکسته آب می خورد

The shoemaker’s son always goes barefoot!!

To lose hope

قطع امید کردن!

I lost hope from you when you started the game.

To cause to be killed

به کشتن دان

The judge said: Franklin caused Jack to be killed.

To seem reasonable

به عقل گنجیدن

The prices in this shop seem reasonable.

To lose unluckily

مفت از دست دادن

I have lost all the money I got unluckily!

Take the bull by the horns

آستین همت بالا زدن

You can't expect a miracle. You're going to take the bull by the horns and settle the matter once and for all!

To nag!

هی نق زدن!

The child is nagging again!

Talk shop

بی موقع از کسب و کار حرف زدن

Okay, guys. Let's stop talking shop and enjoy ourselves

Throw the book at

به اشد مجازات محکوم کردن

You've stolen a car and struck a cop. I'm gonna throw the book at you.

Talk of the devil

عجب حلال زاده ای!

Talk of the devil! We just mentioned your name before you stepped in!

Talk some ones ear off

با پر حرفی سر کسی را بردن

My grandmother talks my ear off whenever I see her!

Too big for ones britches

پا را از گلیم دراز تر کردن!

You're too big for your britches, young man You'd better be more respectful

To be out on a limb

در موقعیت خطر ناک بودن

I was out on a limb when I entered the hole!

Throw the book out

شدیدا مواخذه کردن

I will throw the book out with you when we reach home.

The coast is clear

اوضاع رو به راهه- خبری نیست

Okay guys, You can come out of your hiding place now. The coast is clear!!

The party is over

دیگه بازی تمومه!

Freeze! Stop over there! The party's over!

To be on ones high horse

خود را گرفتن – باد کردن

Our friend hasn't been paying much attention to anyone recently. He seems to be on his high horse again!

To bring down the house

سنگ تمام گذاشتن

SAKHA has brought the house down when he built the web!!

Tongue in cheek

شوخی – بی منظور

Even though Mary's remarks about her sister were strictly tongue-in-cheek, she was offended

The ball is I some ones court

گوی و میدان دست کسی بودن

I did all I could. Now, the ball is in your court

The kiss of death

فاتحه ی کسی را خواندن

Yesterday's rain was the kiss of death for our picnic!

Test the waters

سبک سنگین کردن

We have to test the waters before we make a final decision.

Talk through ones hat

از روی معده حرف زدن

Don't listen to him. He's just talking through his hat!

The salt of the earth

اشخاص شریف و نازنین

Everybody knows that Jim and his old lady are the salt of the earth.

Tit for tat!

این به اون در!

After he broke my old glasses he said, Tit for tat!

Turn someone off

حال کسی را گرفتن

You really turn me off when you talk with your mouth full!

Under dog

شخص تو سری خور

All the children should be trained not to be under dog people when they grow up!

Up someone to expose him

پته ی کسی را روی آب ریختن

My elder brother up me to expose me in front of dad!

Unless you try you will not succeed

تا نکوشی کامیابی نیست

My dad always sais: Unless you try you will not succeed!

Upon my life

به جان خودم!

Oh…upon my life im not kidding!

Up ones sleeve

چیزی را در آستین پروراندن

I wonder what tricks he has up his sleeve this time

Under a cloud

سوء ظن

What is new under your cloud this time?

Under the table

زیر میزی دادن

Don’t try to give him some thing as the under the table, he wont accept it!

Under ones very nose

درست جلوی چشم کسی بودن

The witness told the court that the murder had been committed under his very nose

Wear a long face

قیافه ی عبوس به خود گرفتن

Why did you wear that long face at the meeting?!

We seek water in the see

آب در کوزه و ما تشنه لبان می گردیم

We seek water in the see

What is done cannot be undone

آب از جوی رفته باز نمی گردد

What is done cannot be undone

With tears to be chocked

بغض در گلو ترکیدن

I wanted to cry with tears to be chocked!

Where there is a will there is a way

خواستن توانستن است

Where there is a will there is a way!

Water down

ضعیف شدن

Why have you watered down?

Water under the bridge

همه چیز عوض شده

Nowadays the water is under the bridge!

Work shoulder to shoulder

دوش به دوش هم کار کردن

If we Work shoulder to shoulder we can progress.

What s cooking?

چه خبرا؟!

What's cooking, pat

Well, nothing much

Willy-nilly

چه بخواهد،چه نخواهد!-خواه نا خواه!

Willy – Nelly he has to come back!

Wheel and deal

ساخت و پاخت کردن

You can't do any business in this town if you don't wheel and deal!!!

Wet behind the ears

همی از دهن بوی شیر آیدت.

همی رای شمشیر و تیر آیدت.

He's too young to become a manager. He's still wet behind the ears!

Walk on air

از خوشحالی روی ابر ها راه رفتن

SAKHA was walking on air when he heard the news.

We all make mistakes

انسان جایز الخطاست!

We all make mistakes

Wear the pants

رئیس خانه بودن

In our family, It's my mother who wears the pants

Where is the beef?

اصل قضیه را رو کن!

Your proposal seems to be really appealing, but where's the beef ?!

Wet blanket

آدم حال گیر

You shouldn't invite him to your birthday party. He is such a wet blanket!

Walk on air

از شادی بال در اوردن

Sakha was walking on air on his graduation day.

We haven’t seen much of you

پیدات نیست؟!

When SAKHA interred the ILI class after 3 sessions absence , the teacher asked: where

Were you all these sessions? We  haven’t seen much of you!

Work ones fingers to the bone

جان کندن – سخت کار کردن

I work my fingers to the bone to support my children, but they don't appreciate it

You look hale

کشتی هایت غرق شده است

After Franklin failed the term, he looked hale!

You must lie on the bed you have

هر چه کنی به خود کنی-گر همه نیک و بد کنی

You must lie on the bed you have

You are what you think

گر در دل تو گل گذرد گل هستی

You are what you think

You are indebted to him

حق به گردن کسی داشتن

You are indebted to him

You can’t think again

کور خوندی!!

You can’t think again

You want a thing done do it your self

کس نخوارد پشت من جز ناخن انگشت من!

You want a thing done do it your self

You must be out of your mind

باید عقلت رو از دست داده باشی!

You must be out of your mind

Yes sport but no addiction

ورزش آری - اعتیاد نه

Yes sport but no addiction

Yours truly

چاکر- مخلص- بنده

If you leave everything to yours truly, there won't be any problem.

tongue twisters-part three

293 Admidst the mists and coldest frosts, With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts, He thrusts his fists against the posts, And still insists he sees the ghosts.

294 Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he?

295 Blue glue gun, green glue gun.

296 Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, ...

297 Mallory's hourly salary.

298 I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit.

299 Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.

300 A flea and a fly in a flue, were imprisoned. So what could they do? Said the fly, "Let us flee". Said the flea, "Let us fly". So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

301 King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb. A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb. If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb, How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb?

302 Five fat friars frying flat fish.

303 The bottle of perfume that Willy sent was highly displeasing to Millicent. Her thanks were so cold that they quarreled, I'm told o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent

304 Esau Wood sawed wood. All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. All the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Esau Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. So Esau Wood sought a new wood-saw. The new wood-saw would saw wood. Oh, the wood Esau Wood would saw. Esau sought a saw that would saw wood as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau found a saw that would saw as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau Wood sawed wood.

305 A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

306 Extinct insects' instincts, extant insects' instincts. by Pierre Abbat

307 Sweater weather, leather weather.

308 One black beetle bled only black blood, the other black beetle bled blue.

309 The big black bug's blood ran blue.

310 I am not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's mate. I am only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker's late.

311 Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not?

312 We will learn why her lowly lone, worn yarn loom will rarely earn immoral money. by Ray Weisling

313 Unique New York, unique New York, unique New York, ...

314 If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer..... Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report! If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash! You can't say this? What a shame, sir! We'll find you another game, sir. If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom! from the Unix fortune database, attributed to [e-mail] in the rec.humor.funny newsgroup

315 Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter. Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.

316 Ray Rag ran across a rough road. Across a rough road Ray Rag ran. Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across?

317 Elmer Arnold personal name

318 A Tudor who tooted the flute tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, "Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

319 Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt. Not a punt cut square, Just a square cut punt. It's round in the stern and blunt in the front. Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

320 Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.

321 Thin sticks, thick bricks

322 Red lorry, yellow lorry.

323 A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.

324 How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? A woodchuck would chuck how much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood.

325 Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill.

326 Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.

327 A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.

328 I thought a thought. But the thought I thought Wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought, Had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought I thought.

329 She sells sea shells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure.

330 From the programmer's desk: She sells cshs by the C shore.

331 A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!

332 Plain bun, plum bun, bun without plum.

333 Slick slim slippers sliding south.

334 The Leith police dismisseth us They thought we sought to stay; The Leith police dismisseth us They thought we'd stay all day. The Leith police dismisseth us, We both sighed sighs apiece; And the sighs that we sighed as we said goodbye Were the size of the Leith police.

335 Ah shucks, six stick shifts stuck shut!

336 Meter maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus Mayo, a moody male mailman moving mostly metered mail.

337 The king would sing, about a ring that would go ding.

338 How much dough would Bob Dole dole if Bob Dole could dole dough? Bob Dole would dole as much dough as Bob Dole could dole, if Bob Dole could dole dough.

339 People pledging plenty of pennies.

340 Mares eat oats and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy. from a pre-war English music-hall song

341 To begin to toboggan, first buy a toboggan. But don't buy too big a toboggan. Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan.

342 Courtney Dworkin personal name

343 Switch watch, wrist watch.

344 Six thick thistle sticks

345 Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously. For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses, as Moses supposes his toeses to be. Donald O'Connor and Gene Kelly in "Singing in the rain"

346 I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.

347 She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells.

348 Irish wristwatch

349 She had shoulder surgery.

350 To put a pipe in byte mode, type PIPE_TYPE_BYTE. from the Visual C++ help file.

351 Three Tree Turtles Three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters. If three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters, where's the twisters the three tree turtles talked?

352 My Friend Gladys Oh, the sadness of her sadness when she's sad. Oh, the gladness of her gladness when she's glad. But the sadness of her sadness, and the gladness of her gladness, Are nothing like her madness when she's mad!

353 I would if I could, and if I couldn't, how could I? You couldn't, unless you could, could you? common school kids nonsense, circa 1910

354 real rear wheel

355 Give me the gift of a grip-top sock, A clip drape shipshape tip top sock. Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock, But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock. None of your fantastic slack swap slop From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop. Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock. Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock, Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block. Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop Tip me to a tip top grip top sock. articulation warmup for actors

356 National Sheepshire Sheep Association

357 The crow flew over the river with a lump of raw liver.

358 The little red lorry went down Limuru road. Limuru (Lee-moo-roo) road is a the name of a road in Kenya.

359 Flies fly but a fly flies.

360 Did Doug dig Dick's garden or did Dick dig Doug's garden? by Paul Davies

361 If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot to talk ere the tot could totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought or naught or what ought to be taught 'er?

362 How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans.

363 Federal Express is now called FedEx. When I retire I'll be a FedEx ex. But if I'm an officer when I retire, I'll be an ex Fedex Exec. Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will be an ex FedEx exec's ex. If I rejoin FedEx in time, I'd be an ex ex FedEx exec. When we remarry, my wife will be an ex ex FedEx exec's ex.

364 Which witch snitched the stitched switch for which the Swiss witch wished? by Ann Clark

365 Does this shop sport short socks with spots?

366 Customer: Do you have soothers? Shopkeeper (thinking he had said "scissors"): No, we don't have scissors. Customer: Soothers! Shopkeeper : No, we don't have scissors or soothers. ... scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, ... actual conversation in a shop in Canada, recorded by Don Monson

367 Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop. All day long he fits and tucks, all day long he tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits, and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits. Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.

368 No need to light a night-light on a light night like tonight.

369 I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why. from a Song by Soundgarden named "Somewhere" composed and written by Ben Shepherd

370 My mommy makes me muffins on Mondays. by Tim McCauley, age 8

371 A real rare whale.

372 Terry Teeter, a teeter-totter teacher, taught her daughter Tara to teeter-totter, but Tara Teeter didn't teeter-totter as Terry Teeter taught her to. by Pierre Abbat

373 Ken Dodd's dad's dog 's dead.

374 I bought a bit of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits and mixed the big biscuits with the basket of biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a tin of sardines. Said to be a diction test for would-be radio announcers: To be read clearly, without mistakes, in less than 20 seconds (from Coronet Magazine, August 1948).

375 Kanta is a masai girl. She can tie a tie and untie a tie. If Kanta can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie?

376 I'm a mother pheasant plucker, I pluck mother pheasants. I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker, to ever pluck a mother pheasant. Actually, ... I'm Not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's son. But I'll stay and pluck the pheasants Till the pheasant plucking 's done!

377 If you go for a gopher a gopher will go for a gopher hole.

378 Seven slick and sexy sealskin ski suits slid slowly down the slope.

379 The chief of the Leith police dismisseth us.

380 Fred Threlfall's thirty-five fine threads are finer threads than Fred Threlfall's thirty-five thick threads. by Anthony Nichols

381 Bug's black blood, Black bug's blood

382 Reed Wade Road name of a road in Batesville Arkansas

383 Jack's nap sack strap snapped.

384 I saw Esau sitting on a seesaw. I saw Esau; he saw me.

385 A quick witted cricket critic.

386 Hitchcock Hawk Watch Spots Record Raptors Title of an article in the Neola Gazette

387 Sure, sir, the ship's sure shipshape, sir.

388 The Smothers brothers' father's mother's brothers are the Smothers brothers' mother's father's other brothers.

389 One Double Dozen Double Damask Dinner Napkins Name of a sketch written by Dion Titheradge for a London musical revue and originally performed by Cicely Courtneidge in the early 1930's. The comedienne Bea Lillie performed the sketch in an American film starring Bing Crosby in 1938, and that film's name was "Doctor Rhythm". The sketch became famous and Lillie did perform it on numerous occasions on radio, as well as record it on two 78rpm records.

390 The cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out.

391 Dear mother, give your other udder to my other brother.

392 Blended baby blue bug's blood blotches. made up watching bugs splatter on the windshield ... ugh!

393 So, this is the sushi chef? Spoken to a friend in a Japanese restaurant on the chef’s return.

394 Furnish Freddie's nursery with forty-four furry Furby Beanie Babies.

395 Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, ... name of the famous American golfer

396 A bitter biting bittern bit a better biting bittern And the better biting bittern bit the bitter biting bittern back. Said the bitter biting bittern to the better biting bittern “I’m a bitter biting bittern bitten back”

397 Certified certificates from certified certificate certifiers.

398 Imagine, imagining imagining, an imaginary imaginary imaginary menagerie manager, imagining imagining imagining an imaginary imaginary imaginary managerie.

399 What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Any noise annoys a noisy oyster, but a noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster most!

400 We need a plan to fan a pan; find a pan to fan, then find a fan to fan the pan, then fan the pan. Some Korean students find difficult to pronounce difference between 'f' and 'p'.

401 How many snacks could a snack stacker stack, if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks? by Christine Reynolds

402 Freddy is ready to roast red roaches. Ready for Freddy's roasted red roaches?

403 Who washed Washington's white woolen underwear when Washington's washer-woman went west?

404 On mules we find two legs behind and two we find before. We stand behind before we find what those behind be for.

405 Three grey geese In a green field grazing, Grey were the geese And green was the grazing.

406 Susie sits shinning silver shoes

407 Ralph rakes leaves really, really lousily. for Japanese students of English

408 Lady Luck dislikes losers. for Japanese students of English

409 Broken back brake block

410 Mumbling, bumbling. Bumbling, mumbling.

411 Of all the felt I ever felt I never felt felt that felt like that felt felt.